"Self-portrait"

I am excited for school. Yep, it sounds strange, but knowing that I have only 8 more months til graduation makes me happy :-) School just started and my desk is full of books and papers already. Well it's what I get for taking 7 classes in my senior year haha. But I can do it! Anyways, one of my homework is taking 3 "self-portrait" pictures. "Self-portrait" is in quotation because I cannot have my face in the pictures, but the objects that represent my personality. Uhm I have never approached photography because I don't have that kind of artsy sense which can recognize or read the soul behind the objects haha. I think photographers are amazing artists... Even though I do painting and drawing, the way I perceive art is different from photography. Anyways, with my crappy digital camera (I am just thrilled to know that my school is lending us those professional "bulky" camera soon hehe!), I walked around my apartment and took 3 close-up shots of those objects which I thought to be a good representation for my personality.

A stack of textbooks - hardworking?

Uhm no, it does not mean I'm a nerd. I wish I was one though. Why books? Well, when I was in high school, which was a life-turning-point for kids in Vietnam, I screwed up. While other kids spent all their time studying in order to get into the best universities, I just ran around and caused troubles. I think it was in senior year when mom wrote me a letter. Sway from the main topic for a bit, but writing letters has been a tradition among my mom, little sister, and me. There was always something we could not express in person, and letters had become the best communication tool of us. Words were poured onto that thin piece of paper and that was how we set our problems straight. I love it. Anyways, back to mom's letter before I left home for college in the States..

"Dear my daughter,

[...]Your grandpa passed away when I was 6 and grandma alone raised three of her kids up. People looked down on us because of what we wore and ate. It broke my heart to see grandma work so hard, yet barely fed three hungry mouths, and she had to bear with the cruel judgement of society. I could not do anything, but studied hard to make her happy. I am where I am now is because of education. Thi, education is important. In our family, the only way to stand up is education...[...]"

Well, I grew up experiencing with some unhappy moments of that unfairness happening in our own family, but the young selfish me just wanted to ignore the matter. Even though mom had been telling about the story, it just went from this ear to another one. But that letter, blurry texts from her tears, hit me hard. That's why I am working very hard in college. It is not only because of me but also my loved ones who have always been proud and supportive.

Art supply - artsy?

I love art. A lot. Very. Freaking. Much. But I wasn't supported to major in art. Even high school cut the art program out. I keep it as a hobby though. It's something I can sit all day and bury myself in colors (sadly my schedule is a jealous b*tch). Anyways, it's just my stress outlet:-)

Sticker note - ambivert?

My sister and I are going through a tough time. One night she came home, burst into tears, and that was when I felt so powerless. I have always thought I have my life in control, yet the fact that I couldn't protect my little sister from inevitable broken heart made me feel weak. We were raised to believe that actions were stronger than words, so we barely expressed our love verbally. We learned the way to feel and perceive love from what others do for us, not what they say to us. I did not know what to do at that time and I had to leave early in the morning, so I left a sticker note on her laptop. Days later, it was still there, so I asked her why she didn't throw it away. "Well," she said, "it is nice to have some evidence of your love once in awhile, isn't it?" That melted my heart :-)

Okay, enough of random things :-) At least I just dusted my blog haha.